Polly Piglet by Enid Blyton
My rating: 1 of 5 stars
“And what did you do when you finished reading Polly Piglet by Enid Blyton?”
“Well, my imaginary friend who has been invented to help me make a rhetorical point on the internet, I screamed. And then I screamed some more and a little more and a little more because what the actual hell is this book”
“I mean, that’s a reaction.”
“I KNOW RIGHT”
“I’m not sure what else I’m meant to say here”
“Perhaps you could give me a prompt in order to explore this book further?”
“Ah okay. SO COULD YOU EXPLORE THIS BOOK FURTHER?”
“Indeed I could, my rhetorical friend! I bought it because I had never heard of Polly Piglet by Enid Blyton. I knew she had a propensity for this sort of jazz, but I never knew that it could be so blunt and so – awfully – amazing.”
“I feel you’re skirting around the point a little.”
“POLLY PIGLET HAS NO CLOTHES AND NO FRIENDS, EVERYONE HATES HER UNTIL SHE STEALS SOME CLOTHES OFF THE WASHING LINE, AND THEN SHE GETS PICKED UP BY MISTER PERCY PIG, AND THEN SHE MAGICALLY HAS NINE PIGLETS, GROWS OUT OF HER CLOTHES AND IS LEFT JUST WITH A RIBBON, BUT SHE’S NOT LONELY NOW HURRAH”
“…”
“…”
“I think that’s an ambitious hurrah.”
“THE MOST AMBITIOUS HURRAH OF ALL OF THE HURRAHS THAT HAVE EVER BEEN HURRAHED”
“Can you stop shouting?”
“I’M NOT SHOUTING, THIS IS JUST FOR RHETORICAL EFFECT.”
“…”
“I AM EMPHASIZING THE UTTER LUNACY OF THIS BOOK.”
“…”
” ‘YOU STILL LOOK LOVELY TO ME, THOUGH NOW YOU ONLY WEAR YOUR SKIN’ SAID PERCY PIG”
“…”
“…”
“WHAT???”
“exactly.”
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Daisy May Johnson 
I thought I’d read most of Enid Blyton’s books, but I’d never heard of this one before! What on earth?!
honestly, I think it’s the worst Blyton I’ve ever come across.